Captain Coyne turned up a little too late for Vice Captain Pugsley’s liking and he took it upon himself to do the toss. The coin went up into the watery blue sky, tossing and turning like a leaping salmon making his way back home to the spourning grounds 4,000 miles from where it last had s*x. Simon shouted ‘heads’ in his most manly voice, making sure that he sounded authoritative and firm so as not to give away his tender years or inexperience in such high pressure situations. As the coin came down the opposition captain, a big brute of a man from Australia asked ‘streuth mate, my 5 year old mute daughter Sheila can shout louder than that you little POME git’. Their Captain put another shrimp on the Barbie, but not being put off with that Vice Captain Pugsley had called correctly and we sent the Jersey Post in to bat.

The excitement didn’t stop their as we realised that we only had 10 men. Who was missing, who had let the side down, who had replied to e-mails saying ‘yes, I can play, no problem, thanks for picking me, I love you guys, I love this club, I’m in it for the long haul, I really want to improve, I want to show my worth to this team’. Yep, you guessed it, Olly claimed he didn’t know about the game and had already cooked his dinner and was in the middle of spelling big words with his spaghetti alphabets so couldn’t play. In stepped the big man with an even bigger finger, Paul Fosse. Not put off with a bandage so big that only a blind 2 year old could have put it on so badly, he got dressed into his whites and took to the field. A great start ensued as Captain Coyne got 2 early wickets for few runs and Mitchell was bowling well from the other end. After 3 of the allotted 12 overs they were 11 for 2. Mitchell finished off his fine spell wicket less but more was to come from this little nugget later on. Unfortunately this is where the wheels came off. Coley, Michael Agrela (making his debut for the Rebels and producing a rocket arm on several occasions), Tristan, Fosse, Luc Coyne and Chadders all bowled their little hearts out but went for a few too many runs than they would have liked. A total of 21 wides and 4 no-balls were bowled, and bowling coach Craig Vibert was heard to mutter in the outfield ‘I told them to concentrate more but would they listen, front arm man, front arm’. Dan Cox managed to snaffle another wicket and after a lot of excitement Jersey Post managed to get up to an excellent 144 for 3 of their 12 overs.

We needed something big, we needed something special, and that something cam in the form of Steven Mitchell and Simon Pugsley. Both men batted brilliantly and recorded the first 100 partnership for the Rebels in their entire history. Mitchell hitting the ball with supreme confidence all round the park, and Simon accumulating extremely well. The pitch was large and the pair managed to pick singles and two’s at will, whilst still finding the odd boundary. The scoring rate was also good and gave us a sniff at an unexpected victory. Mitch retired on 51 in the 9th over which bought Dan Cox in to bat. Matt Cox couldn’t play as it was his mum’s birthday, but Dan said that there were more important things to life and that his only family these days was the Rebels. Good commitment Dan, and Matt you have been fined for not having a good enough excuse for missing a game! Dan went for quick runs and was looking really good out there, his poise, balance and supreme confidence was there for all to see. Unfortunately I was describing his walk to the crease there, as when he took guard he played and missed a few times and then got out for a duck. Not to fear though, as Coley was the next man in. Thoughts of the ball being smashed around and over the boundary rope had been going through Coley’s head all innings, but by the time he had opened his eyes he too was out for a duck. The innings had stalled slightly and need some momentum, and fast. Captain Coyne strode to the wicket as if there was a free burger and pint on offer out there. He quickly strode back to the pavilion though after being caught ion the boundary for a paltry 2 runs! Simon completed his first 50 of the season, a fine knock indeed, Tristan recorded his first run of the season and ended not out, as did Vibsy who managed to play and miss the final four balls of the innings, playing for the draw. It was only later in the pub we had to let poor old Vibsy know that we had in fact lost.

A great game of cricket in lovely conditions, but sadly we came up 15 runs short finishing on 129 for 3.

Reporting for Walkovers Rebels media

Yogi Bear